Sometimes the easy road seems so much better and so much lighter on the heart. Being a Christian isn't always easy. Following God's will can be extremely difficult especially when looking at what you have to do to follow it! I should be thankful that I have grown so much that taking the easy way out is no longer natural to me. Now I sit back and think of the consequences of being out of God's will. I believe I have done enough damage to my life by being out of God's will at 32 I do not desire to continue to make such foolish mistakes.I quite frankly do not understand this path I am on completely but I do know while being on this path I have helped a lot of people. Mostly, strangers that have become like family to me. Through the darkness of my pain God shined a light for His glory. However, a large part of me wishes to walk off this path. It is a painful path to walk at times. I keep asking God to release me so I can be free from the attachments of this path but I am told to stand and focus on Him and not the bumpy road ahead. I keep trying to stay motivated because love draws me to this path but that same love is tired of the pain it has to travel through while on this road.
Because I trust God more than I trust this pain I will stay in obedience to His word. His word is the truth I live by. Even if those who should be following it choose to live opposite to it because of their lack of knowledge and understanding I still have to do the right thing and be who God called me to be...it's hard but it is right! At the end of the day I know God is guarding my heart each and every day.
