From Pain to Purpose: Sickle Cell Anemia

Check out my feature blog. This was the perfect way to end Sickle Cell Awareness Month.


From Pain to Purpose: Sickle Cell Anemia

2014: The Year of RELEASE!!

It has been a couple of months since I have blogged but sometimes God places you in a season of silence. That silence is needed in order to truly hear what God needs you to hear. Too often the voices in your life will drown out the voice of God. I realized that in the midst of my silent season God was aligning me with the destiny He laid out for my life. It could be nobody but God to open doors that I was not even seeking to be opened. That is what is so great about our God. He knows what we NEED while we often just focus on what we WANT!

As the opportunities became greater so did the pain in my life. When you have such a big calling it comes with great sacrifice. During what I thought was the worst time in my marriage I committed to giving God my full yes on the things He wanted me to do. I stopped running from Him and started running to Him. There were days where I did not understand the things He was asking of me. Every time I thought I had a clue I was way off from the thoughts God had brewing over my life. Nevertheless, I walked in obedience in the midst of the pain and confusion. I walked in blind faith believing that there was a purpose so much greater than this pain. It turns out I was right! 

It’s hard running a marriage ministry in the midst of the failure of your own marriage. It is even harder to have to walk in silence with some of the hurt when all you want to do is scream to the ones you love and tell them how bad you are hurting. Nonetheless, I survived through some of the worst storms a marriage could weather. God continued to birth me into the wife He needed me to be in the absence of everything I “thought” I needed to have in order to prove I was the wife God created me to be. It was not my wedding vows or a piece of paper but God who made me the wife I became. 

Through my greatest pain God birthed my purpose. He grew my ministry in ways I never expected. It has almost been a year since I started being an advocate for healthy God centered marriages. I cannot believe who I was then and who I am now. God did a new thing in me and because of my faithfulness to Him  I can reign in victory. The whole time God was restoring me and healing me. It was always about me from the beginning. When I came to that full revelation that is when God hit the release button for me!!! Many people were waiting for the new year to come to see God’s glory but God showed me His glory in advance. He gave me a glimpse of what is to come. He already started catapulting me into my next level.  For that I am grateful. 

My lesson learned in this pain is never step out of God’s will and try to create your own. The pain you will suffer is not worth it but His grace and mercy when you do is proof of His unconditional love! Many people want God to save their marriage when in reality God is only trying to save them. That is a revelation that many miss but when it gets revealed it is such a release when you walk in it. I am walking in that freedom. =)

Blog with you later. Love and hugs.

God's Strength Not Yours...

I apologize for taking so long to blog again. I kind of became swept away by life and ministry but I am still here. ;-) I have had this blog in my head for quite some time and I am finally forcing myself to sit still long enough to write it out. So, here goes...

As many people as I see getting married there are even more going through divorce. I sit back and wonder how God is thinking and feeling through all of this? Too many times we leave God out of this holy covenant called marriage when He created it from the beginning of Adam and Eve. God wants to see our marriages not only survive but thrive! He is waiting on us to put Him and keep Him at the center of it

all. However, we often do not draw God in until everything seems beyond repair and then we want a miracle to happen.

I can speak from my own experience that I spent most of my time doing my marriage in my own strength instead of God's strength. This had me feeling weary, hopeless, and defeated until I just wanted to give up. Marriage was not designed for us to give up but to give IN! Give into God's will for our marriages and leave behind our own agenda. That takes a whole lot of dying to self. It isn't an easy thing but it is the right thing.

I recall having a conversation with God and feeling like why do I have to love while experiencing all these things that are making want to hate? God told me because He loved me through anything and everything and I did not have the right not to love in the same manner. That was a true harsh slap of reality that I needed to hear! The truth is always good for us and that truth is found in the word of God. I love walking in His truth and even more walking in His love. There is freedom in that! =) Remember: LOVE IS A CHOICE NOT AN EMOTION!

My encouragement to you is that no matter what stage you are in your marriage journey God is with you. You just make sure you are WITH Him as well! He will not lead you down the wrong path. There will be glory after this! Your marriage is in God's hands and no matter the outcome embrace that God has and wants His BEST for you. Respect the process because the healing needs to take place. Do not rush to your breakthrough and miss the lessons needed to thrive as a wife or a husband. God is doing a great thing in you and you only need to be still and know that your Daddy in Heaven is the God of Recompense!!!

I didn't become a wife simply because my husband put a ring on my finger and we exchanged vows. No, I truly walked into my wifehood when God took His time and taught me true love, taught me forgiveness, and taught me the biblical meaning of a wife! God made me a wife because what I was before God stepped in was not the wife I was called to be. I am grateful for walking into who I was supposed to be when I became married. Diving into God's word allowed Him to dive into my heart so deep and heal the areas I did not even know needed healing. Now the person who had lost hope in marriage but became married anyway, became the person who loves everything about marriage and allowing God's glory to shine through that.

God Bless You, Your Marriage or Future Marriage!!! Blog with you later....Hugs & Love!!!

Marriage: Broken Unity

When I started this marriage ministry 9 months ago I had no idea how it would change my life or the way I did marriage. Today, as I look through my calendar at divorce proceedings that should never be amongst men and women in my ministry it breaks my heart. It is a sad thing that in the body of Christ, so many marriages have failed to represent the love between Christ and the church. Marriage has become like a fashion statement that goes out of style whenever the mood changes. No longer are marriages surviving the four seasons because as soon as the rough seasons come one if not both parties are jumping ship. Lives are being affected, children are being broken, and the family structure is being destroyed!

If only we could think of our self less and God more how many more marriages could survive the storms? I thank God for this ministry at the same time it can bring me much grief. I dislike to see people hurting in anyway, especially in marriage! The men and women in my ministry are like my family and when they hurt, I hurt with them! I know I should not take on this burden of pain because it is for God but I can't help but empathize with that kind of pain. There are no right words that I could form to ease their hurt but yet they still find comfort in my prayers and encouragement so that I can take comfort in! I praise God for equipping me with the knowledge and wisdom to help these men and women of God. Most importantly, I praise Him for making me a powerful prayer warrior and intercessor on their behalf!!! I never knew how powerful I would become at praying but I am grateful for how this gift manifested within me.

I wish we as wives and husbands would realize the real enemy in our marriages was satan and not one another. He despises unity. He hates this Holy covenant between God, man, and woman! He will do every and anything to destroy a marriage and many times we make it so easy for that to happen. Every time we do not do marriage God's way and let our flesh override our spirit we provide the enemy with a foot hole into our marriages. We take marriage out of God's hands and into our owns but when it starts spiraling out of control then we want God to take over again! We must stop this unhealthy cycle. We must stop bringing shame to marriages that people would rather shack up than be married because all it seems to lead to is divorce! Marriage is not a game and God is not pleased!

There are many of us who became married without God's permission. It was our own selfish desire and that is the reason for all that is occurring. Without waiting on God's timing it opened the doors to a full out battle in the spirit realm that many were not equipped for. However, because God is who He is nothing is impossible for Him! There are times He will just turn it all around and there are other times He will just set you up for greater. The latter part is what many argue against but God is God and He does as He pleases! He does not want His children to live in torment!!! God does not get glory out of a dysfunctional marriage and since we all have free will that is the only way true restoration can occur. When both parties come together to do marriage God's way!

Never stop fighting for your marriage unless God instructs you to do so! Those vows you took are very serious and God is holding you accountable to them. If you will just allow God to restore you and heal you then the hardest part is already over! God needs to work on you before He can even touch anything else. Make sure you have a pure heart towards God and your spouse. You must operate in the spirit of forgiveness AND love! It is mandatory not optional! However, you are NOT to accept abuse from your spouse on any level! Going through separation or divorce can be painful and hurt people hurt people and broken people try to break people! God does not want you to be a doormat because you are standing for your marriage and staying in His will! I cannot stress this enough that no matter what you deserve to be valued, respected, and treated as the man or woman of God created you to be! Know your worth and identity and Christ and don't let that be destroyed by anybody even your spouse. You are the daughters and sons of the Most High King! ;-)

I leave my married couples with this prayer: Father God in the name of Jesus allow your will to be done in every marriage across the world! Restore families Lord! Heal broken homes Father! Reconcile spouses to one another Holy Spirit! Break the chains and curses over marriages in Jesus name! No weapon formed against any marriage shall prosper in the name of Jesus! Destroy every strong hold by the power of the blood of Jesus! I bind up every spirit of lies, adultery, unforgivness, witchcraft, pornorgrphy, pride, bitterness, resentment, anger, rage, idolatry, hate, depression, oppression, strife, division, deceit, and double mindedness in Jesus name and I release the spirit of peace, love, joy, gentleness, forgiveness, patience, obedience, unity, fidelity, loyalty, salvation, humility, humbleness, repentance, grace, mercy and favor in the name of Jesus! Lord, have your way in your marriages and let your will overcome victorious in your perfect timing! I declare and decree that it is already getting better in Jesus name there will be glory after this for these wives and husbands! I speak life into these dead marriages and I prophesy that they shall live and not die in Jesus name, Amen! 

God Bless...Blog With you Later!!! =)

From Brokenness To Wholeness

I find myself always speaking on the importance of healing. So, many times we walk around broken getting into relationships that end up broken with other broken people. A valuable lesson I have learned is never enter a relationship broken or get in a relationship with someone who is.Why do I say this? I say this because when you do this you create an unhealthy dynamic. You put too much expectations on that person to be your savior when the only savior you should have is Jesus Christ! He is the one who got up on a cross and died for you not that person. They are only human. They will only be able to bear your brokenness for so long before they walk away. Allow God to heal your brokenness.

So, often our brokenness stems back from childhood, it stems from multiple bad relationships, it stems from the way we see ourselves instead of the way God sees us. Hurt people truly do hurt people but when you come to a place of healing you no longer cause pain to others. At the same time you learn not to accept it from others as well. When you walk into your healing it changes your life. When God changes your pain to joy and shows you your identity in Him you learn your value. You must understand that this healing is continuous and involves constant forgiveness from your past and your present. Forgiveness is the key to your healing! Forgiveness is not an emotion it is an action. You just do it. Set yourself free from the pain and forgive otherwise you give those who hurt you the power to keep you in bondage. Walk in your freedom and be healed. The word of God says that by His stripes you are healed!(Isaiah 53:5)

I encourage the women and men in my ministry to seek God and be open with Him about their pain. It is okay to grieve the pain. It is okay to feel weak, rejected, abandoned, and hopeless but DO NOT stay there! You have to get back up again and fight. Don't allow the storms of life to drown you. You have a God given purpose that you MUST fulfill. Yes, I am a wife, yes I am a mother, but I also have a purpose God put me on this earth to serve and I have to walk into that purpose in it's fullness. The world does not stop because I am hurting or facing a raging storm. No, I have to throw on my full armor of God (Ephesians 6) and stand on what God told me to do. It would cost me too much to get distracted. It will cost YOU too much to get distracted. Whatever it is, only you know...do what God has purposed for you.  However, please walk into your healing! Don't fight the healing process. Being whole is something you deserve to be! You should want to be at a place of wholeness. After all, what has a life of brokenness got you? Nothing but pain and misery. Allow God to step in and deliver you from that anger, the rage, resentment, bitterness, depression, oppression, the destructive behavior, whatever your struggle is allow God to heal you. He can do it. He did it for Me!!!

There are things that I face now that if I had to face them last year this time it would have sent me off the cliff but now I see it for what it is, a distraction from my purpose! So, I pick up my cross like Jesus. He had every opportunity to come down from the cross and not die for our sins because of the pain He was enduring. Like Jesus I have every right to step down from my cross because of the pain but if I step down at what cost? What lives will be affected? I trust God to guard my heart and to fulfill His will for my life. I see what He is already doing and I am just amazed. I have not even seen the fullness of what God is preparing me to do but I feel the greatness and I see the greatness He has connected me to. I have a gift and a heart that supersedes what I had imagined my purpose to be.God gifted me with a greater purpose and I am watching the fruit bearing daily. Please, if you truly want to see God's glory manifest into your life let Him bring healing into your life!

God bless and blog with you later....Smooches =)

Remove Your Rings!!!

Ever since middle school I had a fascination with rings. It was just pretty jewelry to me. Even when I became engaged it was just pretty jewelry. Even when I became a wife. It was still just pretty jewelry. I believe from past broken engagements and growing up in a family of multiple divorces on both sides of my family there was no reverence for marriage anymore. It had all been tainted by what I was surrounded by and my own personal experience with relationships. The meaning behind an engagement ring or a wedding band no longer had any meaning to me. The only meaning I had from mine were that they were from my husband and anything he has ever given me has always had great value no matter how small.

Earlier this year, I believe it was in February God commanded me to remove my ALL of my rings. Then replace 3 of them back on. I was only allowed to wear the ones my husband had given to me when we became engaged and my wedding band. On my other hand I was only allowed to wear the one my grandmother had given to me at 18. She passed away in 2010. When God first told me to remove my rings I can admit I did not want to. Yet God reminded me that as we were on this journey to transformation that I had promised to trust and obey Him. So, I removed my rings in obedience, and replaced my engagement ring, wedding band, and the ring from my grandmother back on my fingers and said, "Now what God?"

At this point I was sitting on my bed and God began to tell me the importance of the rings on my finger. They were not just jewelry. This was a covenant between Him and I as well as my husband. I had to respect this covenant and honor this covenant because my marriage was sacred. Like a circle that never ends, marriage is supposed to never end. These circles (rings) around my finger are a never ending covenant that I was not even acknowledging because of my past. So, before I always loved my rings because they were gifts from my husband but now when I look at my rings I love them because they are a reminder of the covenant I made with God and before God with my husband.

Many times we get married and never know what marriage is actually supposed to be because we look at it from the world's view. It is just a piece of paper and some jewelry. No, it is so much more. It is a holy covenant between God. It is something beautiful. It is something amazing. It is a gift from heaven that keeps on giving as long as you do marriage the way God designs it. I thank God for telling me to REMOVE MY RINGS!!! By this command He also removed my ignorance concerning my rings...

Blog with you later...Hugs and Love. =)

Wifehood

Seven months into the year and ten months into my transformation I can say that I am pleased with the wife I have become. It took a lot of hard work to get here but it isn't my final stop. I continue to strive and grow as the wife God has called me to be. I remember the sleepless nights, the tear stained pillows, and the many talks with God that brought me here. I had to be broken. I was broken from all the ideas and expectations I thought was supposed to come with wifehood. I replaced those things with God's word and what He said a wife should be. When I say it was life changing....It was LIFE CHANGING!!! I still fell down along the way but I got back up again. I kept getting up being more  determined to be the wife God designed for me to be! No, my journey has not been easy but it has been so worth it! I stand strong knowing God is my strength. I know my role and I stay in my lane.

That is very hard for us as women to stay in our lanes especially in this independent mentality of "I am every woman" and "I don't need a man because a man needs me." Truth is we need each other! Often we enter marriage not truly knowing or roles and we often spend time merging in the lanes of our husbands instead of submitting to them. Submission is not a bad thing. It is a great thing actually. When we as wives learn to submit to God it allows us to submit to our husbands. This does not mean we are dominated by them but that we trust that they will lead our family in the right direction and we trust God to help them with this. Marriage cannot be done in our own strength. We need God to help us to do marriage God's way. We have to die to our flesh daily. We have to RESPECT our husbands. When we respect them they know we love them!

As men it is hard to come home to a wife and children who make you feel disrespected and unloved. A husband is supposed to want to rush home from work to be with his family not want to stay there longer to avoid them. As wives we have to show them the love and respect they need and deserve. I know you are wondering...well...what about the men? I am NOT a man so I can't speak for them but as a woman and a wife I can speak on what YOU should be doing! Besides too many times wives point out the flaws of their husbands as if they are flawless. Until you learn to speak life into your marriage and husband you will continue to see negative results! Work on you and allow God to work on him. Trust me, you have plenty of things that God needs to get out of you before He can even begin to touch your husband. Stop the blame game and start the change game!

Blog with you later...Hugs & Love!!!