I thought when God was teaching me forgiveness that I had a hard time but I find love is an even harder task. It has always been easy for me to love. I am a lover of people in general. My heart is big and I give a lot of myself to those I care about or even strangers for that matter. I guess it's one of my gifts. However, over time through trials and experiences the way I loved became tarnished. Love began to come with conditions and not to be unconditional as God loves. God is bringing me back to that place of loving WITHOUT conditions.
It's hard to love through pain, disappointment, expectations, rejection, abandonment, anger, etc. The list could go on for any individual. Love is such a simple task that we as people complicate with out emotions. Love is something you give no matter the circumstances. Right or wrong...good or bad.....ups and downs, because that is how God loves us.
I cannot count how many times I have turned my back on God, rejected Him, ignored Him, or used Him for my own gain and then tossed Him off to the side after a blessing. Thank God He forgives me even when I don't deserve it! Loving people causes you to die to yourself daily. It causes you to think of yourself less. Most importantly, love is what we give without expecting something in return. God's greatest two commandments are on love. First love for God and then Love for our neighbors. Without love we are nothing!
My point in saying all of this is that God allowed me to fall in love so deeply and then allowed test to test that love repeatedly. Could I still love even if things weren't going my way? The answer I can give today is YES! Don't get me wrong I failed numerous times before getting here.I realize now that love was never about me it was about God. My job is to be obedient to that love and God's job is to handle the rest. I have no choice but to trust God's way over my own because He sees the big picture that I cannot see. By no means am I saying it is an easy road but it is a "worth it" road because God is making me a stronger woman in the midst of the pain He is loving the hurt away....
Blog with you later....SMOOCHES!!!
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