Amazing God

Once again my mom has me hooked on a song! Now I have to go purchase another William Murphy album cause this song right here moves me. I don't even have to say much just listen to the words and watch them mime. You will feel and see what I mean....ENJOY!!!

Restoring Relationships: Healing for the Broken Hearted- Dominic Herbst

I have been taking this class called Restoring Relationships for the past few weeks and as I am down to my last couple of classes I am struggling. At the beginning of taking these classes, because of where my mind and heart was I thought I wasn't going to benefit from this course anymore. How wrong was I? COMPLETELY! It covers the topics of how much our past specifically from our childhood affects everything we are in our adulthood. The affects are even greater when sexual abuse has occurred. 

I've had so many traumatic memories in my life that they often overshadow the good I actually did experience as a child or an adult.Even more disheartening that we often mimic the pain that was done to us onto other people. So, now those who have been wounded are now wounding the very same people they should be loving on. It just becomes an unhealthy viscous cycle of unforgiven hurt. I don't know about you but I don't want to be a person to hurt another person because of my own wounds.

The past two weeks we have had to write letters. One was an autobiography detailing the hurts of our past. In that moment I knew I was going to have to face all the pain I had been running away from. Many times I am shocked at how much I have been through and yet still I am standing! I can only give that kind of credit to God because it's incomprehensible. The second set of letters is to our parents. My mother and I have a wonderful relationship but my father is a whole different kind of story. He has no idea what being a father is and he by far was not an example of any type of man I should date let alone marry. I always feared being with anybody that resembled him. One of these days I will get into the details of that but just know the best thing my mother ever did was divorce him and the worst she ever did was marrying him... As you can imagine these letters are digging into so many old wounds and my emotions are everywhere. It's very scary for me! These are wounds I just never wanted to be exposed but I have to do this in order to be who God needs me to be and do what God needs me to do! My purpose in this life depends on my complete healing so no matter how bad it hurts I have to do this.

 

Through this class I am learning how to find the healing for these soulful wounds and I am feeling the change within my heart. My greatest defense mechanism when it comes to pain is to shut down and become numb to my emotions. However, that process prevented me from admitting that there was pain there in the first place. The thing we as people often try to avoid is to grieve the pain we are feeling. We need to grieve. It's important that we do not ignore how important it is to acknowledge and feel the pain we are feeling inside. Personally, being a woman who has held a lot of pain over the years grieving was not an option for me. I just could not accept the pain so I blocked it out as best I could. The catch to that is because of years of pain not properly grieved I have a soul filled with toxicity.

I am now feeling the pain from my past as well as my present and I haven't felt a lot of things in quite some time. I feel re-humanized. Almost like re-birthing the part of me that had been dead and buried. Now because I can feel all the pain I am also able to feel all of the love as well. It's funny how that worked out, but God knew what to do to get that worked out of me. My capacity to love is so much more overwhelming than my capacity to feel pain.I look forward to telling you the outcome of this purging process. The question is are you ready to hear it? Better yet would you consider doing it for your own life? I think you should! ; )

Catch you later!!! SMOOCHES...MUAH =)

My Testimony By Marvin Sapp

Hello Bloggers,

I am leaving you with this encouraging video because we all have testimonies. We have had those days when the weight of the world seems to be pressed upon our shoulders and the walls are closing in. Just remember that "No Weapon Formed Against You Shall Prosper Because The Power Of Life & Death Is In Your Tongue, & Greater Is He That Is Within You Than He That Is Within The World! You Are More Than A Conquer Therefore You Can Do All Things Through Christ Who Strengthens You!"

Well, I have to get ready for my class but I pray God's favor pours out into your lives and you are blessed beyond the desires of your heart! 

SMOOCHES.....MUAH.

Fear Of Love...

I was going through old voice mails my husband left me before basic training and then watched some videos I had made him while he was in AIT. This one stood out to me! It actually made me cry all over again. I came with so much emotional trauma and baggage, two children, and a host of illnesses, on top of having a sick child. Guess what? He STILL chose to love me as well as them like we were flawless creatures in his eyes. Funny things is, that is exactly the way God loves us. I think sometimes we forget where the love started at when our relationships progress over time. We forget how in love we were and how special that person made us feel. I made this video when we were just boyfriend and girlfriend and a year and a half later we are married. Just reached our one year of marriage mark last weekend.

The one thing I learned about marriage is you have to put in three times the work maybe even more than you did when you were just dating. It is so easy to get caught up in the every day dealings of life that you stop appreciating who you fell in love with. Those simple words like, "I appreciate you", "I need you", "I love you", "I miss you", and even a simple "Thank you" gets tossed to the side. Although we may know how our other half feels it is also very important for it to be heard. It's the only way to keep the positive and good things alive in your relationship.

However, the most important factor is God above! Without God in the center of your life and your relationship it will only get harder. It's better to just get it right from the beginning so we don't have to run to God to save our relationships after the fact! That is a lesson that hurts worse when it is learned the hard way. Love is God because God is the definition of Love and the Creator of Love! How wonderful is that? To be able to love like God? Of course, as humans we will fall short because we are not perfect like God is. Nevertheless, we can still be inspired to love like Him.

I am so glad I went back and watched these videos. They made me laugh a lot and this one made me cry. I am thinking of going back and reading the letters he wrote as well while he was in training because it keeps that love fresh! I don't ever want to forget what that feels like because that is the best feeling of love I have ever experienced outside of God! You can see that all over my face that I was undoubtedly in love. I remember falling in love over and over again because he is always with new surprises, new experiences, I was always being amazed by him. I don't want to lose that greatness and substance. This had to be God reminding me to continue to appreciate this very man I was thanking Him for in this video. God knows how to get my attention! ; ) I'm ecstatic right now yall....LOL

I've married such an intelligent, handsome, wonderful man who loves and sacrifices for me on so many levels. He never likes to see me cry or sad and when it's all said and done he continues to strive to make me happy even when I am getting on his nerves...Ha! Now that is what you call love right?  

On that note thank you for reading. TTYL Smooches...Muah!!!

P.S. I think I am starting to get the hang of this blogging. I think I like it. : )

How To Be Succesful-Tyler Perry's Inspirational Message

Tyler Perry posted this video and it was right on time for me! Being that I have so many talents, my heart is pulled in so many directions with all the things I want to accomplish in life. I am so unfocused. I truly need to stick to one specific goal and let God work out the rest. I am constantly stretching myself all over the place which is blocking me from staying on task. I really have to pray about what God wants me to put my time in. I know without a shadow of a doubt that He will provide a way for me to meet all my dreams.

In this new found revelation of myself I guess I want to encourage you to become focused on what your heart is drawn to! It is so easy to try to do everything that we end up not doing anything at all. Doing something you love is way much better than not being able to do nothing you love because you are too distracted! Distractions are the biggest road blocks that we face in all aspects of life. However, we are in control of our own destinies. It's time to walk that path to our purpose and make the dream into a reality.

 I don't know about you but I am ready to live beyond the right now. I know God has something for me bigger than my own mind can conceive. He is just waiting on me to GET FOCUSED! My first focus has to be directed towards Him of course. As long as He remains my priority I won't have to worry about it coming to pass because my destination is already paved out. All I need to do is stay on track and perfect my crafts. What my God has for me is surely for me...

Sorry, for my extreme absence....

I have so much going on for one summer that I have neglected this blogging experience. I need to do better seriously & I will! Just be patient the blogs will get better and I will dedicate more time and energy as I do my fan page. Anywho, time for me to handle my church business so I will get back to this another time...Be Blessed!!!