Free love...

In the Bible it says, "Love covers a multitude of sin." It took me a while to truly relate to its meaning.

Once I pull the negative emotional layers away the root to it all is founded on love. That very foundation of love is what has me so torn. How do I walk away from that kind of love? My mind can rationalize every reason I should and then my heart rationalizes every reason I shouldn't. It's like love and pain are at war and most days it seems pain is winning but then love so gently rises back up on the winning side.

I am surrounded by things that should be bringing me pain but all I feel is love, comfort, & peace by them. I can't even explain why it does? On the other hand there are still places I can't go without feeling like I am about to have a meltdown. However, little by little I am attempting to conquer these familiar memories without having such an anxiety about them. It is going to take some time.

It's been almost 2 months since the dynamics of love changed for me and it is a task to stay grounded. I cannot deny how much I am in love. I mean a true unconditional love. Now what do I do with it? My love is traveling down a one way street with no signs of life to meet it. It just overwhelms my heart endlessly so I have this weight in my chest. I wish I could release it to its intended target but that door has been closed and bolted down. I just want to set my love free to the one who used to be in love with me...