Missed birthdays, holidays, and special occasions aren't the same when you aren't spending them with the ones you love. I try to brace myself through these moments but it's in the quiet moments that the silence seems so loud and the tears seem so hard to contain. I have no idea why the pain seems to be bursting through the seams more and more lately. I try not to get distracted by the pain and just focus on the work God is doing but I can't ignore the grieving that is taking place in the very depths of my soul. Could this be a sign that the contractions are rapidly approaching? Should I be preparing to give birth? I know I have to push through the pain to reach the end of this miracle. When I am face to face with my miracle I will know that it was nobody but God who brought me through it.
More and more it seems there are tears on my pillow. Yet I wake up smiling knowing that God is still the author of this book called, My Life. He has not forgotten me and as He sits at His throne He is acknowledging the good and faithful servant I have been. Even when I wanted to give into my fears and not do what He asked me to do I was obedient no matter how the fear consumed me I followed God and trusted Him. My spirit is apprehensive and only prayer soothes it. God knows the desires of my heart and He knows my desire to please Him. As bad as all of this hurts I won't be moved until God moves me!
Blog with you later....Hugs & Love!!!
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