Thursday
evening the children and I put our names on the cross. It was a
symbolization of our sins being nailed to the cross and covered by the
blood of Jesus to wash away our sins. My son did one for my husband and I
put it on the cross and said a little prayer to cover our family and
forgive us for our sins as well as to thank God for sending His son to
die for our sins. Then last night we went to Good Friday service at our
church and took communion at the end. Although, my husband was not there
I prayed to God and said because we are "one flesh" I would stand and
represent us both so once again I said a prayer asking God to forgive us
of our sins and thanking Him for the great sacrifice. I prayed that God
would give us a heart like His and that we would draw closer to Him. In
that moment I felt something so serene and beautiful and for the first
time communion meant something so much greater to me than ever before.
God
has brought me so far and my family so far and although we have not
reached our final destination I thank God for the ultimate sacrifice He
gave through Christ. Every time I see what I lost and the tears begin to
form I remember look how far I've come and look how much I have gained?
God has done something in me that is greater than any gift or talent He
could have ever given me. He gave me LOVE! No matter how many times I
failed Him, He never stopped loving me. No matter how many times I
disappointed Him I was loved. Even while in disobedience God gave me His
mercy, His grace, but most of all His unwavering love! God's love NEVER
fails even when I fail!!!! I am so grateful He took the time out to
teach me how to love. He worked through my anger, my bitterness, my
hate, my rage, my depression, my suicidal thoughts and He reached down
and smiled on me as if I wasn't these broken pieces but I was perfectly
whole in His eyes. God loved me even before I walked into the woman He
called me to be! I am forever thankful for that kind of love and that
kind of God. This is proof that there is purpose for my pain and none of
it has been in vain because look at who I am today. =) I am fearfully
and wonderfully made. I am trusting the process even though I don't know
the plans....
Blog with you later **huggies**
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